Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
