Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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