How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
