how can u be prego again
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.