OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
