so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
