And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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