It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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