If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
