I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize