I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
