Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You can't special order awesome
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
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today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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