I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
