she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
