How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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