Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I bet he comes in French.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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