I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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