she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
