Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
