I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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