i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
