U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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