Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
