is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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