no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
