Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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