mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize