I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
