Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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