They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
