I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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