370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
