Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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