Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
