he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
