Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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