I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
