I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
