Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
