you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize