if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
