One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
