What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
