sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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