i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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