Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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