Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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