Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
