he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
