Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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