so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
