So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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