im holly from the hills drunk
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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