What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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