i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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