Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
