I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
