im six kinds of drunk right now
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize