about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
