he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
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I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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