is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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