There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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