she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
