Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
