just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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