i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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