If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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