ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Couch. On fire.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize