They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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