I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
