hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
