Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize