I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
This is the prime rib incident all over again
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
