if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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