Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
