so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize