hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
