I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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