So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...