she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Let's paint friendship bongs
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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