Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
